The air conditioning doesn't

Condition the air, that is. The vents never blew cold from when I bought this wagon last year but I've got a mind to diagnose and fix it myself, since I'm an idiot and don't know when I'm in over my head. See, in my mind, everything that shipped when the car was new should work. So that's why I'm working on it.

Behold the majesty.

I can't find anything about this specific model of compressor, or even much as applies to this specific application. I'm going off the fact that the engine is an Oldsmobile-manufactured, 307 cubic inch (5-liter) engine and that Papa GM built many badge-engineered cars that don't have many significant mechanical differences. I think this radial-type Harrison compressor was the fashion at the time, as well.

Luckily, I have the shop manual that contains a really easy to follow flowchart of tests to diagnose the various climate control problems.

The first test was to check if the compressor was cycling (that it was getting the on/off signal to work). With the engine running, setting the A/C to normal and full-cold temperature setting and just watch to see if it's engaging or not. Mine wasn't, of course. So on to the next step.

Is the clutch physically capable of engaging? This is tested by taking some jumper leads directly from the battery and touching the electrical connectors on the compressor. Normally, when the compressor isn't... compressing... the pulley simply spins (free-wheels) on the shaft, turned by the compressor belt run by the engine. The clutch assembly is partly a big electromagnet that, when engaged, makes the compressor work. With the engine off, I connected the battery to the compressor and proceeded to did stupid thing.

Having reversed the connectors, I shorted the wires and blew up the diode on the wire harness and was gifted a pair of hot hot wires for a half a second before I could tug them away. From the image above you can see the thin leads where the diode used to be.

Sans stupid, I check the correct orientation and the clutch popped in and out with a satisfying thunking noise. You can see the clutch on the outside of the compressor move when it's jumped from the battery, so there's no mistaking that it works. The compressor belt wasn't torn up or worn down, so I don't think it was seized, but the next test was to look at the actual refrigerant pressure in the system.

According to the shop manual and my googling, the A/C system has a pressure switch that will prevent the system from engaging at low pressure. The refrigerant contains an oil that lubricates the moving parts of the compressor and helps prevent premature wear. If there's low or no pressure, the system will damage itself because there's no oil moving through the passages.

Here's where we get into the risky business and how I ended up in a pickle.

FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--

So I go out of my way to buy a tool (from the cheap tool store that shall remain nameless) that I probably will only use once and get down to checking the refrigerant pressure. First SNAFU: cars manufactured before 1994 (-96?) used Refrigerant-12 colloquially known by the brand name Freon. Then the hole in the ozone layer really became a thing and after that year, most every vehicle shipped from the factory with new environmentally friendly (friendlier?) Refrigerant-134a. This new formula of 11 herbs and spices doesn't cause as much damage to the atmosphere and still has decent cooling properties as a refrigerant gas. Older vehicles, like this wagon, could still be serviced with R-12 if they were originally equipped with it, or they could be retrofitted for R-134a (not recommended).

Since those days, R-12 is now tough to find at close to prices humans can afford, economically and morally. You can't go to your local parts store and pick up a can of this stuff like you do with R-134a, though you can buy cans from various dealers on the internet or imported from other countries that have fewer fucks to give than us. The irony is that R-134a is scheduled to be retired in 2020, so we'll have the same thing happen slowly with cars made in the past 20 years, too.

I digress. So the old systems have different fittings for their pressure hoses in order to idiot-proof the possibility of contamination with other refrigerant systems. I purchased a retrofit kit what contains new R-12 -> R-134a fittings and proceeded to install them so as to accurately check the pressure with this A/C manifold tool. That's when we skipped over TARFU and went right to FUBAR. See above.

This is the high pressure side fitting, broke threads clean off while I was torquing the fitting on the old aluminum. The little schrader valve spring sticks out and is basically destroyed. The good part of this was that there was no pressure and the lines were completely dry, so nothing was released into the wild to upset the delicate ecosphere. But now I'm in a special place where the car literally has no air conditioning, not just that it's in need of refrigerant, but mechanically; parts have broken the fuck off. 

The real kicker is that this particular part is all one piece of A/C service line that connects from both high and low sides to the compressor via an aluminum manifold. I'm on the case looking for a replacement!

Hang in there, baby.